Relationships: Instant Relationship


Couple Holding Hands at Sea Sunset

“Instant Relationship”, what is it? As I research relationships, one author talks about Instant Relationships and that it’s one quick way to make a guy disinterested in being with you.

I’ve thought about this term Instant Relationship and as I read the don’ts to do with a guy, the author explains to wait until the guy wants a relationship. O.K., but what if the guy says he wants a relationship then decides to not be with you?

Mixed signals?

And I can see it from the reverse. During the time when I was dating, I ran across some guys that were too enthusiastic about being in a relationship. One guy, immediately, was telling me he wanted exclusivity and I was thinking, “Um, this is the first time I talked to you on the phone and I haven’t even met you.” I stopped talking to him.

Another guy, I knew it wasn’t going to work from just texting with him, it was our first time talking to each other. He wasn’t saying much and I was carrying the conversation. I’m mainly an introvert and I have my extrovert moments, so I like someone, who leans more towards being an extrovert.

After we texted that first time, he wanted to text me the next day and I was ok with that. We texted back and forth for a bit within a two hour time frame then I did my thing and texted him four hours later. Dude had an attitude about it. I’m thinking, SERIOUSLY? The next day, he texts me and I don’t answer him all day then around 5 p.m. I get a text from him asking if I’m here. I ended it with him.

Did these two guys think we were in an instant relationship? I don’t know, but clingy? YES! It was an instant turn-off for me, so what’s my point on this Instant Relationship thing?

Ladies, when you find a guy you’re HOT for play it cool in the beginning (first year). Don’t call him every day or every hour, because it will scare him off. Let him make plans with you instead of assuming the two of you will be hanging out with each other every weekend or whenever he has a day off. Go do your thing with yourself or your friends.

Allow the relationship to evolve naturally.


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