As I continue my journey to understanding men and my marriage ending, an aha moment happened today. Or maybe it’s an aha question.
Is the key to Happily Ever After, Getting each other?
Every book, I’ve read about understanding men has mentioned, Getting Him. What does this mean? In the book, 101 Things Your Dad Never Told You About Men, Bruce Bryans states, Women who can attract and keep a good man all have at least one thing in common…they know how to cater to a man’s unique needs…’She just gets me.’ This is a man who has found a woman that truly understands what he’s all about.
Thinking about this statement, women want the same thing from their man. Maybe, this is why the divorce rate is so high, because people get married without really getting each other.
I thought my ex was the ONE. I was crazy in love with him and thought he was the best guy I ever met. But, early in the relationship, I knew something was missing and I couldn’t figure out what it was.
It was after my mother’s death that my love for my ex just faded. Today, I realized why my love faded, because her death made me realize my ex just didn’t get me and he never would. After I left the marriage, I was confused at why I left and thought it was due to all the arguing. I kept wondering how could I leave when I was crazy in love with him at one time.
And now I understand why my love faded. After my mother died, I realized how negative he thought of me. He wanted me to snap out of my grief, it was not quite six months since I had buried my mother, and would tell friends and family that I was just being anti-social. This pissed me off, because I just lost my mother and I was grieving. He didn’t try to understand my pain, my loss and how deeply affected I was by her death. I was just a flawed person, who needed fixed in his eyes.
Does this make him a bad person? No. It just made him not the right man for me. After I left, I was happier. And, I’m starting to understand what type of man I want.
He has to Get Me along with me Getting Him.