Let me explain…
If I had a daughter, I would tell her to focus on herself, her career and her life if she wants to be happy. And that Happiness is not going to be found by having some Man in her life. It’s up to her to complete her life and not depend on a Man to complete it.
Her life should be like a martini or if martinis aren’t your thing than a milkshake and the Man is the Cherry on top. By viewing life this way, she will already be fulfilled with her life, be happy and independent. When the right Man comes along he’ll add flavor to an already enriched life. She won’t rely on him to make her life more fulfilling, be her reason to be happy or be there to solely improve her life.
By having a martini or milkshake life, she can have a healthy relationship where the two of them can enjoy what each other bring to the table. They will be able to compliment each other. And, they won’t be co-dependent on one another.
I was raised to believe my goal in life should be to find a husband, get married and have kids and that was it. When I went to college one of my uncles asked me if I found a boyfriend and my response was I didn’t go to college to find a boy. He looked at me like I was some kinda alien and I knew he was wondering why I went to college…LOL.
Despite having the independent side and getting that my life should be like a martini, there was a part of me that was influenced by how I was raised. This could be one of the reasons my marriage failed. I depended on my ex too much. During my marriage, I kept trying to make my life a martini and, obviously, something went wrong during my pursuit for the career I desired and the happiness I searched for.
The other day I realized I really don’t want to be in a relationship right now, because when I would get on the dating sites there was constant conflict inside me about whether I wanted to date now. I kept telling myself I wanted to focus on my writing and my life.
Then it came to me. My life is not a Martini, yet, so I’m getting ahead of myself trying to find that Cherry.