Personal Growth

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There are people, ¬†who come into our lives and make a profound impact. When I encounter someone like this I’ll think about why I met them.

There was this guy I dated after my divorce. He touched my heart and I’ll always feel love for him.

I was talking to someone today about the significance of the people we encounter. My emotions have been stirred from  Apollo death, my ex losing the dog I rescued after Apollo died and my other dog Zeus possibly having cancer, again.

Pain will, always, trigger emotions deep inside a person. I was experiencing so many emotions. I felt hurt, Guilt, hopeless, helpless, anger, and resentment. I’m not one to cry, but the tears couldn’t be stopped.

They even say a dog comes.into your life for a reason. Trixster is the pup I rescued after Apollo died. She is a scared dog that fears everything. Having her in my life, I had to always pay attention to my energy, stay calm and be patient. If I wasn’t calm, Trix became agitated, more fearful and nervous.

Since she’s been lost, I’ve done a lot of self-reflection. I realized Trix came into my life, because I was her. I was afraid meeting men, letting a man see me vulnerable, letting a man get to know my weaknesses, and just afraid of life. My fear was a barrier to me moving forward in my life.

Meeting the guy I dated after my divorce and losing him, I thought about what went wrong. Why didn’t he fall in love with me when I loved him? Why did he fall in love with a woman, who is not pretty. Why did I meet him?

After much thought and many books read, I came to the conclusion Trixster helped me realize I was living in fear and it was keeping me from the life I wanted.

My marriage ended, because subconsciously I came to a point where I needed and wanted to grow. I couldn’t grow in my marriage and I was with someone, who wasn’t going to help me grow.

The guy I dated led me to the path of growth. This personal growth is making me face my fears, to stay in the present, be in tune with my feelings, express my feelings and be vulnerable, remember my worth, explore and meet men, and get back to being the Diva without the bitch attitude.