Fear

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Fear may be the most powerful emotion we feel. I say this, because I was thinking how we fear death, failure, pain, the unknown, the future, and the list can be endless.

I have feared all the things I have just listed. There will be moments where I’m reminded of how fear keeps me from living and really what I fear isn’t something to be afraid of.

After watching my mother struggle with cancer and die, I know what we believe matters in life really doesn’t.  When facing death it’s then that we understand what’s really important.

It’s this understanding of what’s important that we need to grasp before death is knocking at our door.

Since my mother’s death, I have no fear of dying. But the living part, I’m still working on.

This is what I know now:

  1. Love with no limits and no strings.
  2. Pain doesn’t last forever.
  3. Failure helps us learn.
  4. Take the time to appreciate all the positives in our life.
  5. Live in the present and worry less about the future and the past has happened so let it go.
  6. Forgive, it benefits the forgiver.
  7. Learn from the pain and mistakes, but don’t let it define me.
  8. Do what makes me happy.
  9. Those Fantastic moments and Great opportunities in life, enjoy them to the fullest.
  10. Each day really can be a new beginning.

Motivation

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First, I have to say I’m a Michael Jordan fan. When he was with the Chicago Bulls I didn’t watch basketball or any sports that much. But when the Bulls were in the NBA Finals, I watched the games and was in awe of Jordan. When I saw this quote by him I thought it’s the perfect one for this blog.

I’m having one of those days where I’m not motivated to do anything, but stare at the TV in bed. Why? I have no idea. It could be due to being tired. I woke up after sleeping six hours for the second day in a row. I ate breakfast and decided to go back to sleep, because I couldn’t put two thoughts together. Since I was useless, I figured I needed sleep.

After a couple more hours of sleep, I woke up feeling like a slug. Despite wanting to just lay in bed all day, I forced myself to get up, because I still had to take care of my pups. This is why it’s Great to have dogs, because when I was really depressed several years ago my pups kept me going.

Since I was out of bed, I got dressed. I argued with myself to just take a day off, but then I told myself that the non-profit isn’t going to start itself and my book isn’t going to get published by itself. In the next breathe, I became overwhelmed by everything that needed to be done, the money aspect of starting a non-profit and the evil invisible Failure entity.

I told myself take a baby step and get the keys to the mailbox I rented for the non-profit. Because when I went to fill out the paperwork to establish the non-profit as a 501c3 with the State of Colorado, the address part stopped me and I didn’t want to put my home address.

After picking up the keys, I have to say it has lifted my mood and sparked some motivation in me.

Positive Thinking: What has Been Great

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  1. Eating Chick-fil-A, this is after trying to eat healthy, because I can’t run due to my injured ankle.
  2. Getting out of bed…LOL…I’m in one of those moods today where I just want to be a slug and do nothing.
  3. Baby steps…I have waves of feeling overwhelmed starting a non-profit…I keep telling myself take baby steps.
  4. Baby step one today – getting the keys to the mailbox I rented for the non-profit…to get me moving instead of doing nothing today.
  5. Taking the plunge and starting a non-profit.
  6. Creating the website for the non-profit.
  7. A friend of mine may be moving here…YAY.
  8. Watching Austenland, I wanted to see this movie when it came out.
  9. Being content with being single, Love just happens…it can’t be forced.
  10. Having a week and a half off from the hospital.

Girl Power: Guys are Just the Cherry on Top

martinicherry

Let me explain…

If I had a daughter, I would tell her to focus on herself, her career and her life if she wants to be happy. And that Happiness is not going to be found by having some Man in her life. It’s up to her to complete her life and not depend on a Man to complete it.

Her life should be like a martini or if martinis aren’t your thing than a milkshake and the Man is the Cherry on top. By viewing life this way, she will already be fulfilled with her life, be happy and independent. When the right Man comes along he’ll add flavor to an already enriched life. She won’t rely on him to make her life more fulfilling, be her reason to be happy or be there to solely improve her life.

By having a martini or milkshake life, she can have a healthy relationship where the two of them can enjoy what each other bring to the table. They will be able to compliment each other. And, they won’t be co-dependent on one another.

I was raised to believe my goal in life should be to find a husband, get married and have kids and that was it. When I went to college one of my uncles asked me if I found a boyfriend and my response was I didn’t go to college to find a boy. He looked at me like I was some kinda alien and I knew he was wondering why I went to college…LOL.

Despite having the independent side and getting that my life should be like a martini, there was a part of me that was influenced by how I was raised. This could be one of the reasons my marriage failed. I depended on my ex too much. During my marriage, I kept trying to make my life a martini and, obviously, something went wrong during my pursuit for the career I desired and the happiness I searched for.

The other day I realized I really don’t want to be in a relationship right now, because when I would get on the dating sites there was constant conflict inside me about whether I wanted to date now. I kept telling myself I wanted to focus on my writing and my life.

Then it came to me. My life is not a Martini, yet, so I’m getting ahead of myself trying to find that Cherry.

Girl Power: Moving On…continued

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I guess I got over my writer’s block…lol.

This goes with my previous post Moving On and with The Seed’s for Life blog, A Letter to Anyone Who Seeks a Fulfilling Relationship. The failed relationship with the guy I was dating I am, also, guilty of it failing.

Ladies, we were either not taught or forgot the power we behold as women. And, we forget or have no self-worth. I was married for so long that I forgot my self-worth and the power I behold in dealing with a man.

We, as women, have all the control from the beginning of a relationship how a man is going to respect us. We decide when it’s time to meet the guy. During the date, we decide how this guy is going to respect us by what we allow him to do. If he is not the gentleman we seek or has the qualities we want, we decide if we want to continue the date. We decide if we want to go on a second date. We decide if we want to kiss the guy at the end of the date. We decide how far we let the guy go sexually. We set the boundaries to what is acceptable behavior, acceptable conversation and how men are going to respect us.

After being married for so long and not dating, I was a bit rusty at the dating game, but I picked up on things quick after my failed first time out in the field.

But during my first attempt at dating, I made some mistakes that The Seed’s for Life blog, A Letter to Anyone Who Seeks a Fulfilling Relationship blog points outOne, I became secure in my insecurities. My ex complained about everything about me and I let that affect me where I thought I was flawed. Who would want this flawed person that has so much baggage? Two, being a settler, yes, I was okay with being single, because I was afraid to let someone into my imperfect world. Three, Being someone that isn’t me, I kept quiet about things that bothered me when I was dating this guy, because of my ex telling me how negative, how opinionated, and how hostile I was.

What I know now, I let my ex’s complaining affect my self-worth and I forgot about the Great parts of me. After dating this guy, I realized it’s okay that I’m flawed and have baggage. I just need to find the right guy, who doesn’t criticize my flaws and baggage, but encourages and supports me. Taking the plunge and dating, I’m not afraid anymore to let someone into my imperfect world, because their world may be just as imperfect as mine. Lastly, from now on, I’m just going to be me and if the guy can’t handle it, well, the door swings both ways and there will be a guy out there that can deal with the DIVA me and my softer side.

So Ladies remember the Power within you, be yourself and know your self-worth.

Girl Power: Rottweilers

Rottweilers

Rottweilers are gentle Giants. They possess qualities that I think women/girls should have.

This breed is naturally Alpha dogs and if you’re not a Leader to a Rottweiler, they will step up to the plate and be Alpha with you and other dogs.

You have to gain the Rottweiler’s respect for them to follow you and see you as Alpha.

Fiercely protective of property and loved ones.

Proud breed that doesn’t lack self-confidence.

Extremely loving, if a Rottweiler is aggressive and vicious, it’s because a human raised them that way.

Loyal, this breed will be your best friend forever.

Stubborn, they are very determined dogs and super smart.

Independent, they will be part of the pack, but are not needy.

If I had a daughter, I would show her how to be Alpha to a Rottweiler, because it really helps a person to have confidence, to be calm, assertive and be a leader. Rottweilers are a challenging breed to prove your Alpha. You have to have a strong personality with them and not be afraid to be assertive.

NOT Aggressive, be Assertive.

All dogs read energy. Aggressive energy tells them a dog or person is unstable, so they will not follow unstable energy.

By practicing calm and assertive energy, this helps a person to stay level headed even in challenging situations. Rotties are challenging so they will make you practice being calm and assertive a lot.

Since a person has to gain a Rottweiler’s respect, this teaches females that they should, also, have that quality. Yes, men want unconditional respect, but females remember you deserve respect, too. If a man wants to be respected as a man, think like a Rottweiler and only give respect if the man has shown he is worthy of your time, love and being your king by respecting you.

Rotties are strong and proud creatures, but are a puddle of love and not afraid to show that love. Ladies, we can be strong females and be very loving. If a man is intimidated by your strength, he’s not the man for you. If a man takes advantage of your love, then be like a Rottie and show him the Independent side of you by walking away.

So Ladies, my point in this blog is be Strong, Independent, a Leader and to possess these qualities doesn’t mean you have to be a Bitch. It means you are smart, confident, know what you want and not afraid to share your heart with the right person.

Girl Power: He’s Just Not That Into You

hesjustnotthatintoyou

If I had a daughter, I would have her watch this movie, because it’s right on when it comes to guys.

How do I know this? Because I’ve been there, experienced it and know better now.

Some quotes from the movie:

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Hard to read?

Making excuses for the guy not calling and his behavior?

STOP!!

Making excuses and think about what you want from a guy and what you want in a relationship. Then compare that to the guy you are wanting, is he doing what you want and do you have the relationship you want? If the answer is no, it’s time to move on and find your King, who is going to treat you like a Queen.

Remember, despite that this guy doesn’t want you, it’s not about you. It’s about whatever hangups he has, what he thinks he wants in a mate and his relationship issues. There’s nothing you can do about any of those things if the guy isn’t into you and not wanting a relationship with YOU.

There are plenty of guys out there that will be into you. It’s up to you to dump the baggage of past relationships and find him.

Girl Power: Use Your Brain not Your Body

girlpower

After seeing the HIV post about Atlanta, Georgia, 1 and 51 are infected with HIV just in Atlanta. I did some HIV research to see what was going on in America. And I have to say, I’m worried about the future of young girls.

From working with people living with HIV, I know it’s easier for a woman than a man to contract the HIV virus. I knew that HIV infections was growing within the African American and Hispanic population.

I’m going to start writing blogs that focus on Empowering Women. These HIV statistics that I included in this blog that I obtained from the Colorado AIDS Project website tells me that women are not educating themselves about HIV. They are not taking control of their lives and not taking care of themselves.

Knowledge is power. The more informed we are about HIV the more we know the importance of protecting ourselves.

Ladies, Get Tested. Talk to your partner about sex. And make the guy wear a condom. If the guy doesn’t want to wear a condom, then dump him, because he, clearly, does not care about your health and does not care about YOU.

Statistics:

United States Estimates from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) indicate that there are over 56,300 new infections of HIV each year in the United States and about 1.1 million people living with HIV /AIDS. Every 9.5 seconds someone in the United States is infected with HIV and 1 out of 5 people living with HIV are not aware that they have HIV.

Demographics Based on Kaiser Family Foundation:

Racial and Ethnic Minorities: Racial and ethnic minorities have been disproportionately affected by HIV/AIDS since the beginning of the epidemic, and represent the majority of new AIDS diagnoses, new HIV infections, people living with HIV/AIDS, and AIDS deaths.

Black Population:

Based on the CDC’s estimate of HIV/AIDS prevalence, there are more than 500,000 Blacks living with HIV and AIDS in the U.S. Analysis of national household survey data found that 2% of Blacks in the U.S. were HIV positive, higher than any other group. Blacks also have the highest rate of new HIV infections and new AIDS diagnoses of any racial/ethnic group. HIV is a leading cause of dealth for this population.

MSM Population:

Despite declines in HIV infection rates among gay and bisexual men since the early years of the epidemic, they continue to be at high risk for HIV. Gay and bisexual men account for an estimated 53% of new HIV infections, and are the only group for which new infections are on the rise. Hispanics/Latinos: Hispanics/Latinos account for about 17% of all new HIV infections occurring in the United States. HIV/AIDS is also a leading cause of death for Hispanic/Latino men.

Female Population:

Today, women represent a larger share of new HIV infections compared to earlier in the epidemic. Based on the CDC’s most recent estimates, close to 280,000 women are living with HIV and AIDS in the U.S. Women of color are particularly affected. Black women accounted for two thirds (64%) of new AIDS diagnoses among women in 2009; Latinas represented 18% and white women, 15%.

Youth:

Young adults and teens, under the age of 30, continue to be at risk, with those between the ages of 13 and 29 accounting for about 34% of new HIV infections; the largest share of any age group. Most young people are infected sexually. Among young people, minorities have been particularly affected. Black teens represented 68% of AIDS diagnoses among 13–19 year-olds; Latino teens represented 21%. Perinatal HIV transmission, from an HIV infected mother to her baby, has declined significantly in the U.S., largely due to ARVs which can prevent mother-to-child transmission.

Links:

Kaiser Family Foundatoin’s

US Fact Sheet HIV/AIDS in the U.S. Fact Sheets