Living in the Moment

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Thank you, Captain Obvious is a blog by Beauty Beyond Bones and she talks about how God is always talking to us.

There’s been times, well, lots of times where I’ve wondered about my life and just wanted an answer.

I saw this post on Facebook that stated spend the money and travel, you can always make money. Seeing the world, this is on my bucket list. I thought about that post and as I was comparing airline prices I saw a Frontier ad where they’re offering one way tickets for $34.

Curiosity got the better of me and I clicked on the ad to see what deals were available. I kept thinking about that post and decided I’m going to Vegas.

I saw another post that said, It’s not what you say, but what you do that matters. After seeing that post and remembering the post about traveling, I started looking for flights to go see my sister, because I told her I would visit her. She’s sick and probably not going to be around much longer.

So, I interpreted these posts as God’s way of telling me to get out of my head, quit thinking and worrying so much and Live.

I’m living in the Moment and remind myself that I can always work more to make more money. And, as I live in the moment, I keep an eye out for any messages from God.

Obstacles

obstacles

I find this interesting. There have been times in my life that I felt there were so many obstacles and wondered why the hell it was so damn difficult. This saying makes a lot of sense.

Is this God’s way of telling you when you’re wanting the wrong thing or wrong person or taking the wrong path in life?

Is it best to just Stop, Reflect, and Think? And have Patience for the what’s really worth fighting for to come into your life?

Bad Boys

badguysngod

This was a post on Facebook and this is so true. My college boyfriend hurt me over and over and over for 4 years. It wasn’t the cheating and lying that made me, finally, leave him. After I went to comfort him when his mother died and he told me, “Just because I was with him now, it didn’t mean we were together,” it was at that moment I realized he was a BASTARD and STOPPED loving him.

Oprah said that GOD will keep putting the same BAD person in your life until you GET IT. I laughed when she said this on one of her shows, because it’s so true.

After I decided I was DONE with my college boyfriend, GOD put another BASTARD in my path. But, I only make a mistake once, because I’m quick to learn from my errors.

One of my friends set me up on a date with this BAD guy and funny thing was he was Dominican just like my ex-college boyfriend. The fact he was Dominican didn’t make him BAD. It was the fact that he was a complete ASSHOLE.

Red Flag Number One, he was an ASSHOLE.

He said to me at the bar, I didn’t think you were pretty, but the way the guys are responding to you there’s something about you that they like.

Yes, he, actually, said this out loud and to me…LOL.

Red Flag Number Two, he was an ASSHOLE.

He said to me, You know what I like about you that I can’t control you.

WTF, I was thinking. I was pretty much done with him after he told me he didn’t think I was pretty. But after the stupid control comment came out of his mouth, I was ready to drop kick him out of the bar.

AND, yes, there was more.

When we were heading home I ran into the guy that would later became my husband and I stopped to talk to him. Tony (Mr. ASSHOLE) didn’t like me talking to another guy, so he thought being domineering was going to make me swoon for him. He ordered me to go with him.

I looked at Mr. ASSHOLE and said, Tony, GO HOME! 

He didn’t know how to respond, because he knew from the look on my face that I wasn’t a girl to mess with.

The next day he called me and expressed how he wanted to be friends. I told him it wasn’t a good idea and we never talked, again.

So, YES, GOD does test us. After my encounter with Tony, I didn’t run into another guy that was like my ex-college boyfriend.

GOD

god

Some days, I’m in my head way too much. Thinking and thinking and thinking, about several different things at once.

I’ve expressed in a previous blog I titled Hope my doubts about GOD existing.

Maybe, it’s more I lost faith in GOD after my mother died. I came to the conclusion today, GOD does exist and, maybe, my prayers went unanswered, because my mother could do more for me after she was physically gone than alive.

She’s, always, watching over me along with my father. They communicate with me through dreams and I know they are helping me have a better life.

Despite accepting GOD exists, I’m still hesitant when it comes to praying or believing my prayers will be answered. I think I lost faith due to all my life tragedies.

I’m thinking Time is what will restore my faith, because I know now that those speed bumps in life helped me to be stronger, resilient and a better person.

Hope

hope

After watching my mother die, I questioned Hope and GOD. While I took care of her, I kept praying for her to not die. And when my prayers went unanswered, I decided God didn’t exist and Hope was just something human’s made up to deal with this f*%ked up world.

It’s been awhile since my mother passed.

I still question whether GOD really exists. It’s hard for me to believe that there’s some higher entity that allows all this hate, war, death, starvation and injustice to happen. But than there’s the other part of me that believes that humans are the reason for all the hate, war, death, starvation and injustice.

If GOD does exist, he has put Angels on Earth. Those Angels are the ones that help the less fortunate, try to preach love and equality, and fight for justice.

If GOD exists, the Devil does, too. It’s the Devil that has created all this chaos, war, death and poverty.

Or are humans the Devil hungry for power, filled with greed and obsessed by vanity that has created all this chaos, war, death and injustice?