Girl Power: Use Your Brain not Your Body


After seeing the HIV post about Atlanta, Georgia, 1 and 51 are infected with HIV just in Atlanta. I did some HIV research to see what was going on in America. And I have to say, I’m worried about the future of young girls.

From working with people living with HIV, I know it’s easier for a woman than a man to contract the HIV virus. I knew that HIV infections was growing within the African American and Hispanic population.

I’m going to start writing blogs that focus on Empowering Women. These HIV statistics that I included in this blog that I obtained from the Colorado AIDS Project website tells me that women are not educating themselves about HIV. They are not taking control of their lives and not taking care of themselves.

Knowledge is power. The more informed we are about HIV the more we know the importance of protecting ourselves.

Ladies, Get Tested. Talk to your partner about sex. And make the guy wear a condom. If the guy doesn’t want to wear a condom, then dump him, because he, clearly, does not care about your health and does not care about YOU.


United States Estimates from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) indicate that there are over 56,300 new infections of HIV each year in the United States and about 1.1 million people living with HIV /AIDS. Every 9.5 seconds someone in the United States is infected with HIV and 1 out of 5 people living with HIV are not aware that they have HIV.

Demographics Based on Kaiser Family Foundation:

Racial and Ethnic Minorities: Racial and ethnic minorities have been disproportionately affected by HIV/AIDS since the beginning of the epidemic, and represent the majority of new AIDS diagnoses, new HIV infections, people living with HIV/AIDS, and AIDS deaths.

Black Population:

Based on the CDC’s estimate of HIV/AIDS prevalence, there are more than 500,000 Blacks living with HIV and AIDS in the U.S. Analysis of national household survey data found that 2% of Blacks in the U.S. were HIV positive, higher than any other group. Blacks also have the highest rate of new HIV infections and new AIDS diagnoses of any racial/ethnic group. HIV is a leading cause of dealth for this population.

MSM Population:

Despite declines in HIV infection rates among gay and bisexual men since the early years of the epidemic, they continue to be at high risk for HIV. Gay and bisexual men account for an estimated 53% of new HIV infections, and are the only group for which new infections are on the rise. Hispanics/Latinos: Hispanics/Latinos account for about 17% of all new HIV infections occurring in the United States. HIV/AIDS is also a leading cause of death for Hispanic/Latino men.

Female Population:

Today, women represent a larger share of new HIV infections compared to earlier in the epidemic. Based on the CDC’s most recent estimates, close to 280,000 women are living with HIV and AIDS in the U.S. Women of color are particularly affected. Black women accounted for two thirds (64%) of new AIDS diagnoses among women in 2009; Latinas represented 18% and white women, 15%.


Young adults and teens, under the age of 30, continue to be at risk, with those between the ages of 13 and 29 accounting for about 34% of new HIV infections; the largest share of any age group. Most young people are infected sexually. Among young people, minorities have been particularly affected. Black teens represented 68% of AIDS diagnoses among 13–19 year-olds; Latino teens represented 21%. Perinatal HIV transmission, from an HIV infected mother to her baby, has declined significantly in the U.S., largely due to ARVs which can prevent mother-to-child transmission.


Kaiser Family Foundatoin’s

US Fact Sheet HIV/AIDS in the U.S. Fact Sheets


HIV: Atlanta, Georgia


If you are a minority, you need to read this.

I saw this post on Facebook and, honestly, it disturbed me. Why? Because this statistic makes me sad, it shouldn’t exist, because of the HIV Awareness and Education that exists. And what the HELL is going on in Atlanta that allowed this to happen?

The latest news, medical research and statistics about HIV I’m not up-to-date on and, well, the information is out there. When I worked with people living with HIV I was informed with the latest news about this disease. Since I haven’t been working in this area, I like many Americans just don’t seek out the information.

But I should, because I’m a minority woman, single and like being healthy.

Working with people living with HIV, I became interested in this population after my father got cancer. I couldn’t work with people with cancer, because it was too close to what I was dealing with. But for some reason I could separate myself from those suffering from HIV, despite that the diseases are very similar.

HIV mutates rapidly, there’s no cure and inevitably people infected will die from complications caused by having HIV, which is just like cancer. Those uneducated about HIV and the drugs that help control HIV from taking over the white cells don’t understand that the HIV medication is not the cure all be all. The side effects from the medications are horrible and reality is despite the meds a person is still infected with the disease.

I use to conduct training classes for volunteers and educated them about the latest HIV statistics and medications. I’m sure the statistics haven’t changed on who was the leading population infected with HIV, African-American Women with Hispanic women following close behind.


The articles claimed it was due to culture and beliefs about sex within these racial populations. What I didn’t get information about was within these communities how much education about HIV was being taught. I’m curious with Atlanta having a high African-American population, what and how much HIV education is being taught in the African-American communities.

HIV wasn’t a concern in American when it was considered a Gay disease. Is it going to take 1 of 51 white Americans to be infected with HIV for it to not be put on the back burner, funding to not be cut on education and awareness and for statistics like in Atlanta to not exist?

Look at your children, HIV doesn’t discriminate. It’s not a racial or sexual orientation disease. ANYONE can get it.

King: How Many Frogs?


My gynecologist was voted the best gynecologist by 5280 and getting an appointment to see her is quite difficult.

But she’s so great, I put up with the fact I have to call six months in advance to make an appointment for my annual exam. A visit with her is like seeing a friend I only see once a year. She’s very personable and asks about my life beyond my gynecological visit.

At my recent visit with her on Monday, she asked me about my dating life. It was like I was talking to my sister. She kept stressing about using condoms and how I may have to kiss a lot of frogs to find my Prince.

I wasn’t explaining myself clearly after she said this. My response to her was, I’m picky when it comes to dating. What I really meant was, I don’t want to kiss a lot of frogs. I don’t want to date a bunch of guys. I just want to meet the One, immediately…lol.

Meeting the one, this could be a challenge, since I won’t date anyone from work. I’m surrounded by tons of guys, but my thing is if it doesn’t workout then work becomes awkward and I don’t want it to be messed up by romance.

I’m not active on dating sites, because I feel that 99% of the guys on there are just looking for hookups. And, I’m not into one nighters or being a booty call.

Since I work graves, I don’t get out much, which means day after day the only males I interact with are my

I’m not sure how I’m going to find my King, but I’m definitely not kissing a bunch of frogs to find him.

Sex: Being Single


Yes, I’m going to talk about S.E.X. and the dirty side of sex. It’s not what you’re thinking. I’m going to talk about what everyone wants to ignore, STDs. If you’re single and dating, STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) are a reality.

And because of STDs, this is why I didn’t have sex for three years after my divorce and why I choose celibacy over getting my freak on with every guy that is interested in me on Tinder.

I’m not going to lie three years without sex was not great. I was super busy so sex wasn’t on my mind much. And I’m not shy about touching myself so it wasn’t completely horrible. But what I miss more than sex is just being close to someone, touching, kissing, sharing my life with the guy I love and having that special person love me.

BUT being single, a girl has to be careful and take care of herself (guys need to take care of themselves, too). The fact is condoms protect guys way more than they protect girls so, ladies, we have to be even extra, extra cautious when it comes to sex.

Let’s face it the STDs we are scared of are HIV and Hepatitis C, because there’s no cure for these diseases. Sure, there’s medicine that can control the viruses, but I use to be a social worker and I worked with people living with HIV and Hep C and the meds are not miracle drugs. When a pill is created that gets rid of HIV and Hep C that will be a miracle drug.

So, I met a guy after my three years of no sex. We clicked, there was crazy chemistry and yes sex between us. I wasn’t, too, worried that I had caught anything from him. BUT, there was still that 1% of me that wondered.

I saw my gynecologist on Monday of this week and told her, I had sex with a guy so test me for everything. Sure, it’s scary to have the tests done, because the dreaded call that something came back positive could happen. I felt like Samantha, from Sex and the City, did when she went to get tested for STDs. However, I’d rather know if something is wrong than not know. Two days later, I got a call from my gynecologist that all tests came back negative. Wooohoooo!

It’s hard being single. Like any human, I love sex, but I like being healthy more than sex so I’m back to being celibate.

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April is Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month


I read this blog by Ends and Beginnings titled The Actions of Others. It was about one of her friends, whose drink was tainted with a Roofie or best known as the Date Rape drug.

For two years, I was a volunteer for a Rape Crisis Hotline. There were numerous calls that I answered where girls were drugged and sexually assaulted. They were, usually, at a bar when the Roofie was slipped into their drink.

Every call, the Victims felt responsible for being raped. And, all of them were ashamed of what had happened to them.

This is what Sexual Assault does to the victim. It makes the VICTIM feel Guilty and Responsible for being RAPED.

When it’s the Piece of SHIT perp, who is GUILTY and to BLAME, for Victimizing the girl or guy.

I would reassure every caller that it was not their FAULT and I would repeat this over and over. They would make every excuse to validate it was their fault, but I kept insisting it was not and explain how they were not to blame for being RAPED.

  • 1 in 5 Women will be raped in their lifetime.
  • In 8 out of 10 cases of rape, the victim knew the person, who assaulted them.
  • 80% of victims are under the age of 30. 44% are under the age of 18.
  • 68% of sexual assaults are not reported to the police.
  • 98% of rapists will never spend a day in jail or prison.
  • Every 107 seconds, another American will be sexually assaulted.
  • Every year, there are about 293,000 victims of sexual assault.

RAINN, Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network, is the nation’s largest anti-sexual assault organization.

RAINN’s online hotline:

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800-656-HOPE (4673)




Sex and the City

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I’m a HUGE Sex and the City fan. When the HBO series ended I got depressed. It was like losing my 4 best friends.

Of course, I brought the DVDs, every season and watched the episodes a million times. I know the shows by heart. Yes, I’m a Sex and the City addict.

When the series was on HBO I thought I was Carrie, because she was a writer. But now that I’m single and one of the many in the dating arena, I’m thinking, I’m so Charlotte.

Charlotte was tired of dating and wanted to find her Prince Charming. She thought she found him, but got divorced. My life has been like Charlotte’s.

However, Charlotte found her happily ever after with her divorce lawyer.

My divorce was amicable. No lawyers were involved.

Damn, I should have hired a lawyer. He might have been my King!

Men: 101


Soooo…I read the book 101 Things Your Dad Never Told You About Men and I have to say it was an interesting book. There were things that the author, Bruce Bryans, mentioned that I’ve read in other books…like…men like the chase and want respect.

Then there were things that totally surprised me.

Guys secretly want a virgin. Yes, ladies guys want a girl who is pure and inexperienced in the bedroom…lol. Now, I’ve had guys tell me the opposite. My ex had a girlfriend that was a virgin and he told me he would never be with another virgin, because of the lack of sex experience and they get real clingy.

I’ve had guys tell me they want a girl, who is a lady in public, but a Vixen in the bedroom.

Well, guys, which is it, Virgin or Vixen in the bedroom?

Boys-Random Question: Number Two


Yesterday, while listening to my playlist, Beyonce’s song, If I was a Boy, came on. I started wondering, would I want to be a boy?

  1. Boys can be gross and messy and use the excuse they are a boy and their behavior is acceptable.
  2. Males get paid more than women.
  3. Boys are physically stronger and have more muscle than girls.
  4. Boys just have to unzip and pee when no restroom is nearby.


  1. Boys aren’t allowed to cry or get emotional, otherwise, they will be considered a sissy.
  2. Boys are limited in fashionwear, hairstyles and shoes.
  3. Boys are expected to be providers and make lots of money.
  4. Boys can’t have multiple orgasms, unless, they get hard again over and over.

The ability to have multiple orgasms is so worth being a Girl!